Out and About

Took me five minutes to put a title on this post; so if it's not appropriate, please forgive me.

Source

*Knocks* *Dodges shoe and cobwebs* *Looks around to ensure nobody’s going to kill me*

My brothers and sisters, the devil is most definitely a liar. I have never ever been this busy in my entire life. Even when I was dealing with my final year project and I thought my life was over, it wasn’t this crazy.  MsTizzle, I had promised myself to get this post up today and then I saw your “message”; thank you very much for looking out for me, I appreciate. God bless you.

First, all of you women that have babies please tell me that child birth is not as painful as toothache and I will start reconsidering having babies again. I had one major toothache two weeks ago and that is the worst pain I’ve suffered in my whole life. It was too painful and it made me wonder how women feel during child birth. I couldn’t eat, drink, sleep or even think sef; my head was just pounding. Thank God for small and big mercies sha, the toothache went before sallah so I was able to eat meat :D

I’m excited.

The sweet Sugarspring gave me this award. I’m supposed to write 7 random stuff about myself and I was torn between making them serious or funny random stuff. This is it now anyway; so decide whether it falls on the serious or funny side for you.

Rules

•  Thank the person who gave you the award

Massive shout out to Lady Sugarspring. Thanks a lot girl; you rock. The picture of you I have in my head is that of a funny, painfully honest and happy person who sometimes has a lot of drama; I hope I’m right. Thank you again. iAppreciate.

• 7 Randoms about Myself

1. I love God very much and Jesus is my hommie. Took me long to wrap my head around the love of God for me but I’ve learnt and I’m still learning and I’m grateful that I have the privilege of experiencing God’s love. In my little way, I try to love Him back too.
2. I’m extremely awesome at remembering things, events and people. As long as I see your face once, I will remember you and everything I know about you. Even if I have never met you, as long as I’ve seen your picture, I’ll remember you and all I know about you. My family members know who to come to when they need to remember an incident from 15 or 20 years ago.
3. I love loud music. I live in constant fear of damaging my ear someday because of earphones and loud music. I love rock music and I mean; if rock music isn’t loud, then why are you listening to it at all? If it’s not loud music, then it’s not me.
4. I can wear tank top for Africa. I’m comfortable going anywhere with tank top and jeans. I know this is because our weather isn’t too cold and I’m thankful for that. I believe one day, I’ll host a party and the dress code will be tank top and jeans. Please be prepared.
5.  I hate the sound of car horns. You have no idea how much; especially those people that sleep on the horn like they never had those toy trumpets when they were growing up. It’s a huge turn off for me; I automatically dislike people who sleep on their car horns (even if they look like Adam Levine or C. Ronaldo)
6. Chickens scare me. You know those ones that have chicks and move around with them; they scare me. There’s a story behind that but I’m not telling so y’all don’t choke on laughter; just let’s say I was very naughty as a child. #Shikena.
7. You may or may not know this, but I will marry C. Ronaldo one day. #EndOfStory (If you do not know who he is, please ensure you ask Mr. Google). Thank you.

So that’s it. :D Please permit me to skip rules 3 and 4 for now; I’ll add them later. I feel really selfish for doing that, but I'm sorry.

#InOtherNews My birthday is in 2 weeks :D :D :D I’m kinda looking forward to it *dancing azonto*

Okay, by now, I believe you've had enough of my scattered brain. Bye..

On a serious note, think on these words: "Take the risk of thinking for yourself- much more happiness, truth, beauty and wisdom will come to you that way" Christopher Hitchens.

Have a lovely week and have a fantastic November. God bless you. Kisses.

15 Minutes of Shame

                                                     

I think I caught the perfectionist flu too. I have been trying to get a post here but I type and then think it’s not good enough so I either save as draft or discard completely. I finally decided that I’m not a perfect person and nobody expects perfection from me (I hope I’m right about this).

Anyway, I have a story today.  Here’s what I will probably call my most embarrassing moment ever. So enjoy.

Me: Story story

Reader: Story

Me: Once upon a time

Reader: Time time

I have this pair of pants (trousers) that I love very much. It’s not short; not dragging on the floor, has pockets, belt hole, very corporate and quite fitted too. I love to wear it with my jackets because my jackets are fitted so all the fine figure 8 (coughs) will arrange well when I wear it with a jacket (I wear jackets once in a month). There’s just one problem with this pretty pants: I ALWAYS forget to zip it up. Please put emphasis on ALWAYS. It has three buttons and so by the time I button it up, I would have forgotten the zip. Thankfully, the zip is kinda hidden so even if I forget to zip up, it doesn’t show.

On this lovely afternoon, I was tired of gawking at my computer screen so I stepped out and had to go to the rest room and as usual, I forgot to zip up. I got back to my desk just in time for one boss to give me something to do so I kept standing up, sitting down and walking around to finish this task.

This is the painful part: There’s this fresh bobo in my office; good looking, friendly to the ladies and all, very charming and witty, very handy with all the six packs (Ahem, I’ve seen him wear fitted tee shirts); I finished my task about 15 minutes later and went to sit at my desk and Mr. Fresh sends me an IM that read “Babe how far na? You wan kill us? Try arrange your zip na”. Choi, I wanted to die! Most of my work is done walking up and down and standing over tables trying to do one thing or the other (techie woes) and so I tried to recall how many offices I had walked into in the 15 minutes and how many GUYS had seen me or more aptly, the kind of guys that had seen me in the 15 minutes of shame and that was when depression set in. I’m serious.

I’m not sure if it was the fact that I forgot to zip up or the person that “discovered it” or the people I had contact with in the 15 minutes and I’m not sure what they saw or didn’t see that caused the depression, but I lost the will to keep working that day. I was just quiet and subdued for the rest of the day. I was tempted to ask the guy if it was that obvious, but I respected myself. Why add further insult to my injury?

Anyway, I know it will never ever happen again. Lai lai God forbid. There is no way I’m forgetting to zip it up ever again. My 15 minutes of shame will probably stay with me forever. I was embarrassed. Things don’t embarrass me like that (spent far too long working around guys) but this one was different.

Reader: Laughs, shakes head, feels sorry for me and even remembers a similar situation they have been in.

Me: This is the end of my story. I’m thinking of ditching the pants sef; I’ve had it for a while now or what do you think?

If you want to laugh at me, please feel free. I laughed at myself after the depression phase passed.

This story happened this week. I’ve decided to wear skirts for the rest of the week since I never forget to zip up my skirts. Lol.

Have you been in a similar situation or in worse? Please gist us.

Massive shout out(s) to my new followers. You guys rock!!!

Enjoy the rest of the week. God bless you.

Do you know who my father is?

***please forgive any word you find inappropriate***

Hi people. Great week so far? /great weekend (for those just starting d week today)? This post has been on my mind since Friday, but you know how laziness can be now…

So on Friday, I went to do NYSC clearance (I must collect allawi, abi?) and it was a war zone. More like battle of the best hustlers. This wasn’t about your strength or your size, it was about your ability to squeeze and be squeezed, but well, being slim always has its advantages J

Anyway, the woman signing got angry and left because we weren’t coordinated and we had to somehow force ourselves to form 2 lines, thanks to some guys who sabi arrange well.

Well, after about 1 hour and 30 minutes, this madam came back to sign, but on her way back, while trying to straighten our lines; we heard the sound of a slap. Pow! Those who know me well know the extent to which I love gist, so you can trust that I left my space to go see what was happening. Lo and behold, it was one yellow pawpaw lepa girl like me that dazed a guy two times taller and larger than she is. The first thing that ran through my head was “U no dey fear size?”  To my expectation, the guy did not hesitate to hit her back (he didn’t slap her, but he hit her anyway).

Now, to the cause of the fight. Girl was in front of d line, left to go buy fanyogo, came back and boy was already traffic warden. I like to think that judging from what we heard and saw; this is how their conversation went:

Girl: Excuse me (in d sweetest voice)

Boy: where are you going?

Girl: where does it look like I’m going? To the front now (already irritated as to why a guy will confront her)

Boy: You want to shunt, abi? You can’t pass here (plants self in front of d girl like Kilimanjaro)

Girl: I was in front before now. I went to buy fanyogo (raising fanyogo with a huge scorn on her face)

Boy: Who sent you? You think the rest of us standing don’t know how to buy fanyogo?

(Onlookers laughing already)

Girl: Are you mad? What’s your problem? I said I was in front before, do you think I’m laughing with you? Excuse me jare. Get d f*** out of my way

Boy: what will happen if I don’t? (Testing his power and smiling)

Girl: Look, if you don’t move, I’ll slap you. Do you know who I am? Do you know who my FATHER is? Get out jare, idiot. (ghen ghen)

Boy: Me? Idiot? Who you be? Who is your father sef?

(Onlookers laughing, saying “who is your father? If your father is so powerful, why didn’t they bring the clearance to your house?” Mumu. Ode. Mcheww. Stupid girl. Bla bla bla)

Girl: Get out or I’ll slap you

Boy: Abeg, all you have is mouth. See your yellow face and opelenge body. Can u slap a fly?

Girl: (lifts hand high up over her head and…) Pow!!! Slap toh splufic gaan on the boy’s dear face

(Onlookers shouting yee! Jesus! Wow! OMG! What! WTF! Etc.)

Boy: (spur of the moment reaction, not wanting to be booed, raises hand and…) poof! Hits girl on d arm.

Girl: Are you stupid? You hit me (grabs his shirt at the neck and drags him -Jenifa-style)

Onlookers (especially girls) shouting “why would he hit her back?” “Why would a guy hit a girl back?”, “serves the stupid girl right” and so on. The rest of us laughing hysterically. Others using d opportunity to come to the front.

All of a sudden, everybody forgot she lighted him first, because of who her FATHER is.

                                                           *****End of story*****

My challenges in this situation are: why would d girl use the “do you know who my father is” line? Who cares? We are all corpers, irrespective of who your father is. Also, why would she slap him and grab his shirt all because she can’t come to the front? Also, was the guy supposed to hit her back or take the high road?

My mum always says any man/boy who hits a woman/girl/lady is a beast.

So, the question is, was the guy right for hitting her back or not? Please tell. What do you think?

Hair has become gold now!!!

I'm not here to play or write random things or look around. Today, I am really angry and the cause of my anger is hair.

These days ehn, hair(extensions, weavons, attachments or whatever you'd like to call them) has become so painfully expensive that I wish I was older and way past all of this 2011 nonesense. Thanks to the lace front hair, brazillian hair, Peruvian hair,Indian hair, Remmy hair and all the other "hairs" that are available right now, common Premium too is now getting expensive. Oh, and did I forget to say that they have started packaging it like the brazillians now. Mchewww.

So I wanted to make my hair today and on getting to the place where they sell the"common" hair extensions that we know, I met different ridiculous brands of extensions, some I haven't even heard before; there was this one called chocolate which was of three different types: One that had Tonto Dike on the pack was the cheapest, and then 2 other ones that were of higher quality than the first one and even more expensive.

My point exactly is that by the time I finished calculating the money for the extensions and the money I would actually use to make the hair, I was weak to my bones and well, since my hair is long, I decided I would just continue to endure the pain of combing it every morning until God provides some means of making the hair of my choice. Call me stingy or "Akagum", I do not care. I don't have maga or anybody that will gladly drop some ridiculous amount of money for me to make my hair, I have to find my own way around these things.

What happened to the days of Darling Yaki or the likes, although I'd rather scrape my hair off than use that now, but seriously, this hair thing is getting really painful. Then you go out and see all these thin-legged girls flaunting their 30 inches Brazilian hair touching their pelebe yansh and lace front hair that was definitely not properly fixed like say na them own the factory. We know what you do and no, I will never be tempted to do that.

I guess at the end of the day, I'll just buy bending rollers and hair straightener and perform some magic on my own hair. Just watch out for miracles.