Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Do you know who my father is?

***please forgive any word you find inappropriate***

Hi people. Great week so far? /great weekend (for those just starting d week today)? This post has been on my mind since Friday, but you know how laziness can be now…
So on Friday, I went to do NYSC clearance (I must collect allawi, abi?) and it was a war zone. More like battle of the best hustlers. This wasn’t about your strength or your size, it was about your ability to squeeze and be squeezed, but well, being slim always has its advantages J
Anyway, the woman signing got angry and left because we weren’t coordinated and we had to somehow force ourselves to form 2 lines, thanks to some guys who sabi arrange well.
Well, after about 1 hour and 30 minutes, this madam came back to sign, but on her way back, while trying to straighten our lines; we heard the sound of a slap. Pow! Those who know me well know the extent to which I love gist, so you can trust that I left my space to go see what was happening. Lo and behold, it was one yellow pawpaw lepa girl like me that dazed a guy two times taller and larger than she is. The first thing that ran through my head was “U no dey fear size?”  To my expectation, the guy did not hesitate to hit her back (he didn’t slap her, but he hit her anyway).
Now, to the cause of the fight. Girl was in front of d line, left to go buy fanyogo, came back and boy was already traffic warden. I like to think that judging from what we heard and saw; this is how their conversation went:
Girl: Excuse me (in d sweetest voice)
Boy: where are you going?
Girl: where does it look like I’m going? To the front now (already irritated as to why a guy will confront her)
Boy: You want to shunt, abi? You can’t pass here (plants self in front of d girl like Kilimanjaro)
Girl: I was in front before now. I went to buy fanyogo (raising fanyogo with a huge scorn on her face)
Boy: Who sent you? You think the rest of us standing don’t know how to buy fanyogo?
(Onlookers laughing already)
Girl: Are you mad? What’s your problem? I said I was in front before, do you think I’m laughing with you? Excuse me jare. Get d f*** out of my way
Boy: what will happen if I don’t? (Testing his power and smiling)
Girl: Look, if you don’t move, I’ll slap you. Do you know who I am? Do you know who my FATHER is? Get out jare, idiot. (ghen ghen)
Boy: Me? Idiot? Who you be? Who is your father sef?
(Onlookers laughing, saying “who is your father? If your father is so powerful, why didn’t they bring the clearance to your house?” Mumu. Ode. Mcheww. Stupid girl. Bla bla bla)
Girl: Get out or I’ll slap you
Boy: Abeg, all you have is mouth. See your yellow face and opelenge body. Can u slap a fly?
Girl: (lifts hand high up over her head and…) Pow!!! Slap toh splufic gaan on the boy’s dear face
(Onlookers shouting yee! Jesus! Wow! OMG! What! WTF! Etc.)
Boy: (spur of the moment reaction, not wanting to be booed, raises hand and…) poof! Hits girl on d arm.
Girl: Are you stupid? You hit me (grabs his shirt at the neck and drags him -Jenifa-style)
Onlookers (especially girls) shouting “why would he hit her back?” “Why would a guy hit a girl back?”, “serves the stupid girl right” and so on. The rest of us laughing hysterically. Others using d opportunity to come to the front.
All of a sudden, everybody forgot she lighted him first, because of who her FATHER is.
                                                           *****End of story*****
My challenges in this situation are: why would d girl use the “do you know who my father is” line? Who cares? We are all corpers, irrespective of who your father is. Also, why would she slap him and grab his shirt all because she can’t come to the front? Also, was the guy supposed to hit her back or take the high road?
My mum always says any man/boy who hits a woman/girl/lady is a beast.
So, the question is, was the guy right for hitting her back or not? Please tell. What do you think?