Welcome Back + Books + Commitments

Source

There’s  this Nas & Obie3ce song my brothers used to play when I was younger and one part went something like “Welcome Back…Welcome Back…Welcome Back!!!” and when I started to type this post, that’s the song that came to my mind. So, as you read, just assume the song is playing in the background :D

For those of us who didn't have any holiday, it’s happy new week. For most people who went on long holidays and breaks and what nots (side eye at Toinlicious), welcome back to life…work...School…business…reality…etc. Welcome also to 2013…your year of (*insert your catch phrase here*). How was the break? Fun? Boring? Stressful? Wasted? Mine was bleh; I didn't really have a break.

I knew Lagos was back in business when I got to work at almost 9am today. Last week, I was getting to work before 8am so imagine the shock when I stepped out and it was traffic and hustles here and there. Why can’t people just remain in their home towns? I mean, most villages need educated minds to help developmental efforts, right? Okay, I’m joking; I understand the hustle J I called last week my “chilling week” because I wanted to spend it to settle into the New Year and do some planning but as life would have it, I was actually busy at work so I had to throw the ‘chill’ out the window *sigh*

Dayor's book

The book from my colleague

Anyway, my first gifts this year were books; one from Dayor which I won from her giveaway and another from a colleague. 

So once again, thank you Dayor and thank you for sending it so quickly; I’ll let you know once I’m done reading it. The second book I got has a weird title and when I got it on Friday, I was like huh? Did the man remove his shirt to hand it over to a fully clothed man or to another naked man? But the title got me so it’s on my to-do list. Btw, if you want to read any of them, I can share so let me know J

So I have made commitments here and there already this year (not resolutions, just commitments) and I’m here to make another one. I believe that this year will be more relaxed for me than last year so I hope to be more committed with blogging; my attention span is short and I tend to lose focus sometimes so I forget I have to do some important things but I’ve decided to change so look out for a committed blogger. So help me God. I just want to make it known that it’s going to be a little different with me this year; I might get preachy on y’all sometimes (maybe most of the time) but that’s just because I like to share. I’m in a learning process at the moment and so I have decided to share some of the things I’m learning just because I can. So, if I get too serious or a little too preachy, please understand where I’m coming from. But I know you guys are awesome so you will keep reading. Thank you in advance!

S/O to everyone that made 2012 awesome on blogsville and to all the wonderful new friends I made last year, thank you once again. Here’s wishing everyone a glorious year filled with amazing results in everything you do.

Mwah!

Celebrating Thanksgiving

Source

For many of us, there are times when we are in certain phases of life and the shadows and darkness around us challenges we are facing so easily clouds and blurs out everything bright and beautiful so much that we do not feel a need to be thankful. I’ve gone weeks without having anything to be grateful for; I just feel like there’s no extra ordinary thing that has happened in my life for me to be specially grateful without realizing that even the tiniest things around bring reasons to be full of gratitude.

I know thanksgiving has passed and we don’t even celebrate thanksgiving here but who says you can’t have your own day of celebration? So in the spirit of December (xmas +new year + I didn’t have a birthday post + a new chapter altogether), these are the things I’m grateful for:

I’m grateful for God. Everybody attributes their life and existence to a supreme being but not everybody actually believes or accepts the sovereignty or superiority of this being. I’m grateful because I know God (in my little way) and I love Him very much. Life is so much easier in understanding, acknowledging and accepting that there is a God above and no human can replace Him no matter how much anyone tries. I’m also grateful that He shows me love much more than anything I can ever show to Him and even when I mess up big time, He never stops loving me. I’m forever grateful that He doesn’t punish me for defaulting in giving Him back the 110% love He has given to me.

I’m grateful for family. Apart from me, there are just 2 other members of my immediate family and it sucks that you can’t quarrel with any of them for too long (joke). I have argued and at different times even totally disliked both of them, I’ve been furious with them and even made certain decisions concerning them, but family will always tie themselves to your cloth. Even if you use a scissors to rip off the part where they are tied to your garment, they will look for another part of your garment to tie themselves to. Is it until you rip all your clothes off before you realize they are going nowhere? I know what it feels like to be missing family so I’m eternally grateful for those that I have.

I’m grateful for forgiveness. I mess up a lot, big time! and I wonder how people tend to look beyond my offences, forget the heartache and hurt I caused and move on with life. I didn’t have it so easy with forgiveness because I just couldn’t bring myself to look past the hurt, but gradually, I began to understand that forgiving a person of any wrong is not so that invisible chains will drop off the person’s hands and legs but so that you that is forgiving another will experience peace and freedom from clogging your brain with hurt and wrong doings. I admit there are still times I struggle with forgiveness; I don’t intend to make it appear like child’s play but if one person can do it, then why can’t I or why can’t you?

I’m grateful for a job. That I wake up each day with somewhere to go to and something to do is a blessing on its own. I never really understood the depth of unemployment until recently. Y’all remember that Dangote and bus drivers story? That’s the kind of thing that makes me grateful. I know there’s a lot of money involved in the job but still… It’s easy to complain about bosses and deadlines and difficult tasks and pain-in-the-butt clients and horrible colleagues when you haven’t stayed jobless. I imagine the number of people who will be willing and ready to take my job even with less pay.

I’m grateful for friends (I know you were expecting this). If I ever have a next life, it will be filled with friends. I do not have many friends so I’m very thankful for the few I have both physically and on blogsville (and wordpressville). Many of you bloggers feel like friends even though I have never ever seen most people. These are people that fill my life with joy and tell me the truth at all times; friends who listen to and scold me and friends who are just there when you need someone to talk to. You guys are the friends that help me connect with purpose and inspire me to be a better me; the ones whose actions challenge and propel me to action in more ways than I can count. Who says you can’t discover and develop serious cyber-friendships?

I’m grateful for laughter. It is not just enough for something to induce laughter or be funny; a person dealing with major issues cannot afford the luxury of laughter. From the blog posts from you awesome people, to twitter, to craziness at work and at home and to friends; I have had one reason or the other to laugh everyday. It’s refreshing, relaxing and truly, laughter is the best medicine. When I say laughter, I mean the type that makes you bend over and hold your stomach, the type that brings out tears from your eyes and sometimes even makes you throw up. I could use that kind of laughter everyday.

I’m grateful for music. If music has ever healed you, then you will understand what I mean. Music has been a wonderful companion to me. Sometimes, I think it’s because I always care more about the lyrics of a song than for the beat, tune or melody so when I listen to a song, I’m more concerned about what the lyrics mean to me than how fast or how slow I can dance to the song (this is why I’m not a big fan of Naija music). I’m most especially grateful for rock songs, for Casting Crowns, for Jeremy Camp, for Francesca Batistelli, for Switchfoot, for The Fray, for Rascal Flatts, for Anthem Lights and for Hillsong United.

I’m grateful for sports. There’s a sense of belonging that comes with following and actually loving any kind of sports. So for Football (not American football), and for Basketball and also for Tennis, I’m thankful. I’m especially thankful for C. Ronaldo (*wink*).

I’m grateful for gadgets. Seriously, I keep thinking how difficult life will be without basic gadgets like a smartphone (not Nokia 3310) or computers or even things as basic as flash drives or head phones. As you may already know, I’m a techie (whatever that means to you) so as much as I don’t make myself drink gari to buy a gadget, I’m thankful for the ones I  have and hopeful for the ones I don’t.

I’m grateful for love. There’s so much more I can say concerning this but the fact that I’m loved in many ways is enough to be thankful for.

I am grateful for life. I wouldn’t be thankful for all these as a dead person. So for all these and more; and for God who has for now blessed me with all these, I’m thankful.

What are you most thankful for? Please share :)

P.S: I’ve been feeling very melancholic for a while now and kinda lost my will and inspiration. I stayed away because it was hard to put my thoughts in words without passing on the melancholy to y’all. I’m back now though and I think it's only appropriate to be back with this. Massive thanks to everyone that checked on me. God bless y'all.

Out and About

Took me five minutes to put a title on this post; so if it's not appropriate, please forgive me.

Source

*Knocks* *Dodges shoe and cobwebs* *Looks around to ensure nobody’s going to kill me*

My brothers and sisters, the devil is most definitely a liar. I have never ever been this busy in my entire life. Even when I was dealing with my final year project and I thought my life was over, it wasn’t this crazy.  MsTizzle, I had promised myself to get this post up today and then I saw your “message”; thank you very much for looking out for me, I appreciate. God bless you.

First, all of you women that have babies please tell me that child birth is not as painful as toothache and I will start reconsidering having babies again. I had one major toothache two weeks ago and that is the worst pain I’ve suffered in my whole life. It was too painful and it made me wonder how women feel during child birth. I couldn’t eat, drink, sleep or even think sef; my head was just pounding. Thank God for small and big mercies sha, the toothache went before sallah so I was able to eat meat :D

I’m excited.

The sweet Sugarspring gave me this award. I’m supposed to write 7 random stuff about myself and I was torn between making them serious or funny random stuff. This is it now anyway; so decide whether it falls on the serious or funny side for you.

Rules

•  Thank the person who gave you the award

Massive shout out to Lady Sugarspring. Thanks a lot girl; you rock. The picture of you I have in my head is that of a funny, painfully honest and happy person who sometimes has a lot of drama; I hope I’m right. Thank you again. iAppreciate.

• 7 Randoms about Myself

1. I love God very much and Jesus is my hommie. Took me long to wrap my head around the love of God for me but I’ve learnt and I’m still learning and I’m grateful that I have the privilege of experiencing God’s love. In my little way, I try to love Him back too.
2. I’m extremely awesome at remembering things, events and people. As long as I see your face once, I will remember you and everything I know about you. Even if I have never met you, as long as I’ve seen your picture, I’ll remember you and all I know about you. My family members know who to come to when they need to remember an incident from 15 or 20 years ago.
3. I love loud music. I live in constant fear of damaging my ear someday because of earphones and loud music. I love rock music and I mean; if rock music isn’t loud, then why are you listening to it at all? If it’s not loud music, then it’s not me.
4. I can wear tank top for Africa. I’m comfortable going anywhere with tank top and jeans. I know this is because our weather isn’t too cold and I’m thankful for that. I believe one day, I’ll host a party and the dress code will be tank top and jeans. Please be prepared.
5.  I hate the sound of car horns. You have no idea how much; especially those people that sleep on the horn like they never had those toy trumpets when they were growing up. It’s a huge turn off for me; I automatically dislike people who sleep on their car horns (even if they look like Adam Levine or C. Ronaldo)
6. Chickens scare me. You know those ones that have chicks and move around with them; they scare me. There’s a story behind that but I’m not telling so y’all don’t choke on laughter; just let’s say I was very naughty as a child. #Shikena.
7. You may or may not know this, but I will marry C. Ronaldo one day. #EndOfStory (If you do not know who he is, please ensure you ask Mr. Google). Thank you.

So that’s it. :D Please permit me to skip rules 3 and 4 for now; I’ll add them later. I feel really selfish for doing that, but I'm sorry.

#InOtherNews My birthday is in 2 weeks :D :D :D I’m kinda looking forward to it *dancing azonto*

Okay, by now, I believe you've had enough of my scattered brain. Bye..

On a serious note, think on these words: "Take the risk of thinking for yourself- much more happiness, truth, beauty and wisdom will come to you that way" Christopher Hitchens.

Have a lovely week and have a fantastic November. God bless you. Kisses.

15 Minutes of Shame

                                                     

I think I caught the perfectionist flu too. I have been trying to get a post here but I type and then think it’s not good enough so I either save as draft or discard completely. I finally decided that I’m not a perfect person and nobody expects perfection from me (I hope I’m right about this).

Anyway, I have a story today.  Here’s what I will probably call my most embarrassing moment ever. So enjoy.

Me: Story story

Reader: Story

Me: Once upon a time

Reader: Time time

I have this pair of pants (trousers) that I love very much. It’s not short; not dragging on the floor, has pockets, belt hole, very corporate and quite fitted too. I love to wear it with my jackets because my jackets are fitted so all the fine figure 8 (coughs) will arrange well when I wear it with a jacket (I wear jackets once in a month). There’s just one problem with this pretty pants: I ALWAYS forget to zip it up. Please put emphasis on ALWAYS. It has three buttons and so by the time I button it up, I would have forgotten the zip. Thankfully, the zip is kinda hidden so even if I forget to zip up, it doesn’t show.

On this lovely afternoon, I was tired of gawking at my computer screen so I stepped out and had to go to the rest room and as usual, I forgot to zip up. I got back to my desk just in time for one boss to give me something to do so I kept standing up, sitting down and walking around to finish this task.

This is the painful part: There’s this fresh bobo in my office; good looking, friendly to the ladies and all, very charming and witty, very handy with all the six packs (Ahem, I’ve seen him wear fitted tee shirts); I finished my task about 15 minutes later and went to sit at my desk and Mr. Fresh sends me an IM that read “Babe how far na? You wan kill us? Try arrange your zip na”. Choi, I wanted to die! Most of my work is done walking up and down and standing over tables trying to do one thing or the other (techie woes) and so I tried to recall how many offices I had walked into in the 15 minutes and how many GUYS had seen me or more aptly, the kind of guys that had seen me in the 15 minutes of shame and that was when depression set in. I’m serious.

I’m not sure if it was the fact that I forgot to zip up or the person that “discovered it” or the people I had contact with in the 15 minutes and I’m not sure what they saw or didn’t see that caused the depression, but I lost the will to keep working that day. I was just quiet and subdued for the rest of the day. I was tempted to ask the guy if it was that obvious, but I respected myself. Why add further insult to my injury?

Anyway, I know it will never ever happen again. Lai lai God forbid. There is no way I’m forgetting to zip it up ever again. My 15 minutes of shame will probably stay with me forever. I was embarrassed. Things don’t embarrass me like that (spent far too long working around guys) but this one was different.

Reader: Laughs, shakes head, feels sorry for me and even remembers a similar situation they have been in.

Me: This is the end of my story. I’m thinking of ditching the pants sef; I’ve had it for a while now or what do you think?

If you want to laugh at me, please feel free. I laughed at myself after the depression phase passed.

This story happened this week. I’ve decided to wear skirts for the rest of the week since I never forget to zip up my skirts. Lol.

Have you been in a similar situation or in worse? Please gist us.

Massive shout out(s) to my new followers. You guys rock!!!

Enjoy the rest of the week. God bless you.

Little Words of Encouragement

Source

I’ve had an okay month. Not exactly a spectacular month because of the many things I couldn’t accomplish, but above all else, I’m grateful for life. It’s easy to go everyday complaining about things that are not working well instead of just being grateful for the things that are on course. I try to imagine myself being the one that provides air, food, water, shelter, and abundance of rain, fair weather, good jobs, and all the other good things of life to humans and with the abundance of all these things I provide, someone still complains about how he or she doesn’t have enough money to add to what they already have. The thought that people don’t care much about what I do or complain that I’m not doing enough is sufficient to start another episode of Noah and the Ark.

I have two stories to share.

Two weeks ago, I had this massive eye issue. It was so bad that I couldn’t do anything at work because looking at my screen alone was a huge problem; my eyes were watery, they hurt so bad and were itchy. Thankfully, it got better after about a week and I was okay. I’ve started taking precautionary measures to stay off eye makeup and bright screens.
Few days ago, I met this man, a senior executive in a multinational company who was sharing an experience. He mentioned that for a couple of years now, he’s had to deal with eye issues and hasn’t been able to find a medical cure for it. He said his eyes will hurt so badly sometimes that he’d be useless for hours; or sometimes, he’d just sit and for no reason, water will start coming out of his eyes like when someone is crying; this actually happened while we were talking, tears just started flowing out of his eyes. When I asked if he had been to the hospital, he smiled and said “you have no idea how much I’ve spent” and he stopped at that.
While I was complaining about how I couldn’t use eye makeup for a week because the water will smear my mascara, someone else is constantly battling with worse situations. You stay complaining about why your eyes are too big or too small; not bright enough or not having the right color; someone else is just praying for eyes that can work well. That man has more than enough money to take care of himself, but his eyes still give him so much trouble.

Second story.
I have a colleague at work who is a cancer survivor. He had cancer in his college days in Germany many years back and he was telling his experience about chemotherapy, alopecia, losing years of school and so on. He went to talk to a woman who presently has cancer in an attempt to encourage her that whether or not she survives it, she is safe in the hands of God. The passion with which this woman spoke about how grateful she is for the number of years she lived in sound health made me feel guilty about myself.
I am very familiar with cancer. I know it so well and I know it’s a hard place to be especially for the family of the patient; both financially and emotionally. But with this woman’s family, you can see gratitude to God despite the challenges they are facing. She has two grown daughters that have this aura of joy around them and it amazes me how they manage to stay joyful through the illness.
**End of Stories**

At the risk of writing an epistle, this is a word of encouragement that no matter how crooked or hopeless a situation might be, there are still reasons to be thankful. It might not be health challenges; it might be failure to accomplish some set goals of 2012 as we enter into the so-called “ber” months; it might even be dealing with loss in any form. What I know is this: God always leaves at least a tiny little reason to be thankful whether or not He does something.
Whatever it is that you are facing; realize that the end hasn’t come and as long as you are alive, you can still get through it. There’s always time to make something better as long as you’re still breathing.

This is the reason I’m grateful for life.

Have an awesome September!

Mentoring 101

Source

When I was younger, one of the questions they used to ask frequently either in schools or when you’re filling that “goodbye book” everybody used to fill back then (I think it was called slung book or something, forgive me if I’m wrong) was “Who is your Role Model?”.  My curious self always wondered what anybody’s business was with whom my mentor was and I remembered having different answers every time the question was asked. I had Ben Carson, Pastor Adeboye, My Dad, and My Mum and so on at different points in time. I’m sure of one thing though: My Dad had the highest number of occurrences then; I’ve always wanted to be (partially) like him and I still want to be like him today.

As I grew older; I came to realize that there’s a major difference between whom you admire and who you want to be like. I might admire and get inspiration from someone who isn’t my role model. Let’s break it down in the most basic way we can:

A role is a function or a position

A model is a standard or example for imitation or comparison.

Admire: to regard something (someone, a quality, etc.) with respect or warm approval.

Therefore, a role model is the standard in a function or a position.  

This is how I understand it: I might appreciate some qualities about a person, but it doesn’t mean I want to be like the person. For instance (and this is not personal in any way), I appreciate some qualities about Beyoncé- her voice, her ability to hold it all together and of course, her figure, but I do not want to be her or want to be like her simply because she doesn’t fit into the picture of how I see myself. On the flip side, I’d look at Sheryl Sandberg (Facebook) and think “hmm, that’s a great woman that I can fashion some parts of my life after”

If you call somebody your role model, following the definition above, the person should presently be or should have been in a position where you know that you can fit into with little or no adjustments; so it will be easier and more appropriate for me (as a techie) to call Marissa Mayer (Yahoo) a model than to call Victoria Azerenka (Tennis).

Also, I have come to discover that it is almost impossible to have one role model- professionally, spiritually or personally except God is your model. God is the only one that cut it perfectly; every other person comes with baggage and the ability to be able to separate the baggage from the exceptional qualities is what makes you the better person. You definitely have someone you aspire to be like personally, another professionally, another martially and the list goes on because of certain qualities that have that you see yourself being able to emulate. Combine all of that together with your own baggage, and you have a total package. (Did you notice I just rhymed? :D) If you have just one model, you have to be a really blessed person.  

I found an article on Forbes recently talking about mentorship amongst female professionals and different people had different things to say about how the women already at the top (Generation X) do not properly mentor the younger generation (Generation Y). This one stood out for me:

“I recently spoke with a female leader I admire about work/personal life balance.  She explained to me that she has given all of her energy and time to her professional life, and in retrospect, at 65 years old, she wishes that she had allowed for more balance with other areas of her life.  This conversation affirmed me in my personal search for balance and my own recognition that I seek professional mentors who share my values. I do not want to live to work – I want to work to live.  I want to succeed at work and contribute to my work place and community.  I want the time I spend working to be meaningful, but I also want plenty of time to pursue passions outside of work such as volunteering, having a family and traveling.  If I found a mentor who did not share those values, their advice would have only limited value to me.”

This leads me to the question:

What do you personally look for in a role model or mentor, both professionally, personally and in other ways?

Side Notes

• Forgive all the tech names. Err…I’m techie.
• There’s a slight difference between a mentor and a role model. I have used them to mean the same thing here.
• Big birthday shout out to Toinlicious. Wish you many more years in good health and prosperity. God bless you!
• Thank God It’s (almost) Friday. J
• Shout out to my two new followers. Thank you guys J

Gold Chase: Usain Bolt

Permit me to be among the people that will do what many other people will do after the Olympics. I like to pen down some memorable things I learn after every major sporting event in the world.

Last night, alongside with many other uncountable people, I spent 10 memorable seconds watching the battle for the fastest man on the planet which at the end of the day didn't end up being a battle, but an award given to a well-deserving man.

The frenzy is dying down now but the lasting effects of those few seconds will remain with us for a long time to come. A couple of things ran through my head this morning while thinking about the whole race all over again and I'd like to share:

1. He was an early "discoverer" <====
Usain Bolt is 25!!!  and he is the 4th most valuable athlete in the entire world (I read that somewhere; can't find it now); just in case you didn't know that. Nobody builds talent in one day. It all starts with discovering what you have and not ignoring it. Imagine if he had discovered he could run like that and stayed a local/community champion, would we even know his name today? Dude discovered his talent and worked on it. I once read a story about Tiger woods who practised golf everyday at 4am since he was 3 or 4 years old; little wonder he's one of the greatest names in golf today.

I know that many of us are probably past the age of discovery and we are all chasing paper and comfort now, but IT'S NEVER TOO LATE. Imagine if everyone in the world discovered that one thing they are good at and stuck with it; the kind of life we would be living right now will be very amazing.

2. He ran against himself
After the race, as usual there were a couple playbacks in slow motion and one of them showed Bolt running while looking to the left as against looking ahead and at that moment, it struck me that the dude was actually looking at the clock and I thought Wow! who does that? Where other contestants were focused on finishing the race for the chance at a medal, my  guy was there trying to beat his own record by ensuring he did better than the last one.

So here's what I learnt; when you have become so good at what you do, other people do not really matter any more as competition, but you are the only thing stopping you; meaning that the only thing/person stopping you from being better than you are now is yourself. Sharpen yourself. Dare to do better than yourself and stop at absolutely nothing to be better than you are now in the skill you've got.

3. He shared the moment.
This is probably one of the most important lessons in life. Bolt won; not Blake but I'm sure we all saw that they both had the moment. Even though everybody was screaming "Bolt Away" and "Usain" at the top of their voices, dude shared the moment with his friend and fellow contestant. He probably had a choice to have an exclusive celebration, but they both had the moment. Remember at Wimbledon women's finals when Serena Williams won, she ran up to her father first to celebrate. Tiger Wood's father is also a known name today because he helped his son. I could go on and on with examples, but I'm sure we get the point.

Lesson's pretty obvious. Every moment you get in the spotlight didn't happen because of you. It happened because many other people were involved and those other people deserve to be recognized as you are recognized.

So that's it. I hope it made sense.

Side Notes:
a. Very soon, we will start "Bolting." No more planking and stuff. We shall now start the Bolting process. I shall be part of this one. No dulling. :D

b. Did y'all see the London Police tribute? Epic moment people. Epic moment. 

Okay. Have a great week. Cheers!.