A question

Source

You know there are some things that bother people so much it drives them crazy. Sometimes, we find it so difficult to say exactly what we are thinking because it will not go down well with someone or because people will consider you crazy.

I have spoken to some people and I have attended quite a number of weddings in my life. I have argued so many times that the purpose of a marriage is not for procreation only; there’s companionship and help meet (that’s how it’s spelt, right?).  It peeves me when people (family and friends) start counting for a couple as soon as they are married like if there’s no baby after 9 months, then there’s a problem.

Personally, I don’t want to have babies so early into marriage. Can’t I just enjoy the other 2 reasons why people get married for a while before starting a family? I told my mom once that I would like to wait a couple of years before having a baby and she freaked; going on and on about how life doesn’t wait and how there’s no reason to wait if you are not having delays. I just want to believe she was in a mood that day.

I watched “Change of Plans” recently. I love that movie; not necessarily because of the story line but because the couple had been married for 5 years and had a mutual agreement that having children was not in their playbook. I wouldn’t call it playbook but you get the idea.

Why don’t I want to rush into having babies?

I have heard stories and I have seen drama. You have a baby and you have to leave the child at home everyday in the care of one nanny whom you are not sure truly likes you or your child. You leave before the child wakes up and by the time you’re back, baby is asleep. You cannot sacrifice your well-paying job to be a stay-at-home mom. I do not blame people who can’t leave their jobs to play the mommy; the state of the nation doesn’t really let that happen but where is the care and love and attention children deserve in their growing up years especially in this age where solid family values have become a thing of the past?

Eventually, I want to have babies but I also want to take care of my babies by myself and train them the same way my mom trained me because she didn’t have a job that took her away all the time. I also love to work; I love the office setting and furniture and work stations and bosses and nice clothes and meetings and people that pretend to care and all of that and I know that I am not cut out for any kind of business of my own.

Am I talking about sacrifices here? Yes I absolutely am!

Does it make me look like a weak woman who expects that her husband should be the major financial backbone of the house? I don’t know.

Is this a wrong way to think? That is my question.