Friday, February 1, 2013

Negative thought patterns

Happy new month everyone!! Is it just me or January was very long; like it wasn't planning to come to an end.

In my last post, I mentioned losing my blog and turns out I sparked up some kind of fear in some people. I’m sorry if that happened; it wasn’t my intention at all. So, I’ve decided to tell how I backed up. Please note that this is not an 100% secure means; I’m hoping there’s another way to do this but I’m still looking. While I’m looking, I’ll just share this one. Also note that this is for blogspot platform only; I’m not sure how it works for wordpress and other platforms, but I believe that wordpress should have a more convincing way of backing up (no diss intended). Okay, here goes:

DashboardàSettings-àOtheràBlog ToolsàDelete BlogàDownload Blog.

It saves as an xml file (don’t bother much about what this means) which you can easily import if anything happens (and I hope not); I’m positive that this should do the trick for now. This is not to say that you shouldn’t share if you have a different and more importantly, better method. Gracias J


Next up; on messed up thought patterns, I’ll try not to make this personal. I muted Ynaija on my twitter because there are a lot of irrelevant tweets they post. Somehow, I came across the Kenechi Somebody’s post on rape and self-control and other infuriating crap like that and later, I jumped on Myne and Femme Lounge’s posts about the article. To say I’m beyond shocked that someone who passed through the four walls of a decent school can spew that level of utter crap served on a well decorated plate made of gold is an understatement. I mean, why a person would even make the slightest attempt to attribute the high level of the crime to “indecent dressing amongst female folk” and “lack of self-control in men” baffles me.

Here’s my line of thought:
{Scenario 1} Let’s assume that ALL men (every single man on the face of the earth) lack self-control and is provoked by indecent dressing by women; how many daughters and sisters who live with their fathers and brothers have been raped over the years bearing in mind that most of the time, almost no female is fully covered up 100% of the time when she is in the house.

I’m not saying there aren’t Fathers and brothers who rape their daughters or sisters but there’s a large percentage of women who have never been raped and yet, they live with men while a whole lot of women and children who don’t even have any kind of male proximity have been victims of rape. My point is NOT ALL MEN LACK SELF CONTROL and even if self-control was a gift that is given to every single man once he is born, people will still get raped. I find that article insulting to my dad, my brother and the many other men who might have at one time or the other been tempted, but have actually exercised self-control.

From my little knowledge of human behavior, Rape and Arson are similar crimes born out of a need for power and so to say that women that “dress to kill” is provocation for rape is being unfair to both the male and female gender. What does dressing to kill mean anyway? I read somewhere that ladies don’t dress to entice men; they dress to outshine other women. As much as I don’t totally agree with that statement, I think there’s a level of truth to it or what else is the explanation to why women in Arab countries still get raped despite the fact that they are usually all covered up in flowing garments? On another hand, Nollywood has taught me that when a university girl offends some tough guys in school especially if she’s doing “shakara”, the best way they usually deal with her is by raping her; not necessarily because she provokes them sexually or whatever but because they just want to prove to her that they have some level of dominion over her and can overpower her anytime. This, I believe doesn’t happen only in Nollywood. Are we still arguing that rape isn’t about assertion of power?

Finally Mr. Kenechi, I’m not attacking you as a person, I just have an issue with your line of thought. Men must not rape something and self-control is a quality that can be developed and you should be grateful for freedom on the internet which is both a blessing and otherwise to us.

Have a blessed month everyone xx


  1. I saw the headline and I didn't even bother to read what the man had to say sef, the topic is a very touchy one, and mostly because its sad I don't really like talking about it so much, however I know people are entitled to their opinions and because he aired his doesn't mean its true, he def has a problem with his line of thinking...

    There are a lot of men who don't think in this line, and hopefully we don't get people with these kind of thoughts. Its just sad!!

  2. I read that post on Ynaija and i wanted to puke. I was so angry and from the tone of his article, you could tell that he was arrogant. I won't be surprised if he'd raped before. You lay the blame of rape on women because men don't have self control? It just didn't make sense to me at all

  3. Hey dear, you have an award to pick up from my blog *hugs*

  4. Quite sad that the line of thought he chose to explain such a sensitive topic followed a kind of defensive pattern. We all get it wrong sometimes and I hope he learns in future posts.

  5. some ppl just like to yarn dust sha or rather talk

  6. We r in a system or society where people make assertions based on assumptions and not on facts. If we could get to speak with every rapist, maybe it would have been easy to understand their way of thinking-what led them to d act. My very close friend was raped by someone that was more like a brother to her - who had been living in their house for about 2years. Only the two of them were at the house that night-This guy broke through her room door at night and did a shameful thing. Was she indecently dressed in her room that attracted him from his room?It's just a wicked and dangerous world out there..

  7. Sorry, am I the online who had chills run down their backs at the thought of losing their blogs? I just followed your recommendations but it seemed to save only some and not every single post…is this correct?


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